Facebook Infected with Magarity Virus
by Mike Agnew Jr.
E.R.I.N., seen here strangling a puppy
It seems that Facebook founder, Mark Zuckerberg, is "faced" with a new problem. It turns out his numbers are wrong. There are not the 300 million users thought to be on facebook but actually 3 Magarity sisters and a handful of their friends. Somehow these three have been able to comment, post, and tag everyone and everything on facebook. At first Facebook webmasters thought it to be some sort of phishing virus. They initially thought that one of the "Magarity 3" had her password stolen by a virus and was able to instantly comment on all posts of her friends simultaneously. Zuckerberg held a press conference on Monday where he had this to say:
"When we found out that this was a normal person doing this we just could not believe it. She must have had several windows open and been clicking and typing faster than anyone we have ever seen. It was the first time comments have been posted before the actual post. We dubbed her E.R.I.N. which stands for Extremely Responsive Impulsive Notificationer. This is similar to a case we saw last October where a single user we have labeled L.E.V.I.N.S. was able to post 10,000 Phillies updates in 3 microseconds."
Authorities at Facebook have been expanding their server base in order to support these three. E.R.I.N alone took out half of the eastern seaboard with her SDAND attendance emails alone. The other two sisters seem to be focusing on reporting army intelligence pictures and what appear to be Mexican soda ads. Until we get more word on these three, all we can do is sit back and watch them reak havoc on facebook, their digital playground. Zuckerberg went on to say:
"This is just the tip of the iceberg, just imagine if they get smartphones like the iphone or droid. They could comment on anything anywhere anytime. God help us all."
Bill and I make the Inquirer
by Mike Agnew Jr.Check out the second page of the World Series sports section of the Philadelphia Inquirer. The paper actually cuts off our heads completely, but online had this picture up. Here is the link to the website in case you shant believe me. Click here and go to picture 19.
Look at the top right....
Game 5 and still ALIVE!!!
by Mike Agnew Jr.I went to bed on Sunday night angry...very angry. I didn't watch the bottom of the 9th. I turned off the tv. Brushed my teeth. Got ready for bed. And right before closing my eyes, I checked phillies.com to see if a miracle happened. To see if Santa had come and left a present under the tree for me. A tiny match lit in the middle of a dark field and then pffff... everything went dark. The Phillies had crumbled again. My head hit the pillow just a little bit harder.
Then at 6:30AM I get a text from my dad. He and my mom were at the last two games which, in turn, made them get home late two nights in a row which, in turn, led them to be run down by lack of sleep and lack of wins which, in turn, made the tickets available to me... my turn.
Now, I went to the World Series Game 4 last year. The Blanton Home Run. It was an amazing night. It brought me back to being 11 again and all the awe that was the Series of the World, the Classical Autumn. This time around I didn't get caught up in the bells and whistles. This time the perks that come with a World Series game didn't phase me. I wanted baseball pure and simple. I wanted the American Pastime versus the almighty dollar. I wanted heart and integrity versus performance enhancement. I wanted David versus Goliath. Link versus Ganon. Rocky versus Apollo. That's it. That's the match up I wanted. Phillies versus Yankees... Balboa versus Creed.
Sunset at Citizen's Bank
Bill and I got to the stadium before the gates were open... in fact, nothing was open but the radio station stands giving away pieces of plastic to herds of cattle. We went in as soon as they opened and caught both the Phillies' and Yankees' batting practices, a feat I have never achieved, ever, in my baseball watching career. Pre-game we caught a few glimpses of familiar faces.
The fans eventually piled in and the game was under way. And thus began one of the most complete games I have ever seen.
It had controversy: Victorino's beaning in the first inning, Posada's dilly-dalying strike, A-Ro(i)d
It had Huge Philly Scores: Utley's 3 runner, and Utley's whoops I hit that foul... let me straighten that out for ya, Lee's single, Ibanez's Jeep sign dinger, and Lee's overall pitching
It had funny quotes from Section 137: "Oh hey, you guys made it. Good. Sit down. Let me fill you in on what you missed." ~ Joe, a fellow season ticket holder, to the Yankees fans who showed up in the seats next to him in the 4th inning. The same quote was used when they returned from a bathroom break in the 7th.
It had funny quotes from the Men's Room: "Focus, focus." ~ A Phillies Fan reacting to a group of fans starting to sing "Fly, Eagles, Fly"
It had the Phanatic:
It had Classic Phillies Drama: A 9-inning looming Yankee threat, Damon little crappy dinker to keep the game alive, as well as the rest of the drama you get with Ryan Madson.
It had Celebs:
Mitch Williams and the World Series Trophy
Peter Gammons walks through our Section
Hugh Douglas and John Bolaris
Robin Roberts and Jim Bunning drove down from Horsham.
And, most importantly, it had the strike-out to ended the game with full screaming and rally towels.
WE WIN
By the way, I am now 3 for 3 in World Series Game Victories. '93 Game 2, '08 Game 4, '09 Game 5
Arizona: A to Z
by Mike Agnew Jr.So I recently took a trip to Tuscon, Arizona. Pronounced Too-sawn... not Tus-can... that's in Italy... or so I learned. Amanda's friend was getting married and so we figured it would be a good idea to bring a bit of Philly charm to the Copper State. Also, Amanda was in the wedding so I had no choice either way. I joke. I was happy to go. However, the trip coincided with some of the NLCS Playoff games. This was the same case as last year. I had to take a trip for work which led me to watch Games 1 and 2 of the NLCS alone in a hotel in Denver, CO. Luckily both the Phoenix and Tuscon airports were lined with HD flat-screens all tuned to TBS. Arizona... you had me at hello.
I would also like to thank Bill and Rocco for the 15 text messages I received once we landed. (I could only wait for 10 before checking. Sorry for the blurriness.)
So here are some of the things you notice about Arizona right from the start:
It's Hot. It was 40 degrees in Philly the day we left. It felt odd gaining 3 hours and 48 degrees just like that. The sun is intense....the angry sun from Super Mario Brother's 3 comes to mind. The difference between being in the sun and in the shade is about 10 degrees...no lie.
.
It's Dry. Now, this dryness counteracts the heat....a bit. Let me be clear. It's still very hot but it's not that humid hot that makes many August days in Philly unbearable. But the dryness gets you another way. I noticed during my first daytime drive on Friday morning. I was talking to Amanda and suddenly I gagged. The back of my throat was instantly dry. I reached for the bottle of water she said I would "need". (I immediately regretted the scoff I gave her earlier when she purchased the bottle.) You know that feeling that you get when you do a somersault in a pool and you get water up your nose? You come up for air and have to do that weird back-of-the-throat cough. Well, this is the exact opposite feeling. It feels like your nose is drying from the inside out.
It's the Desert. Don't let the Walgreen's at every intersection fool you. Behind that shopping center is the desert. It's right there. On many of our drives, I imagined the situation where we would run out of gas or break-down. In every simulation, I died. The threat was real. You would find me just like they found Jin in Season 5 of LOST... sun-burned, dehydrated, and Korean.
I also realize that it's mid October. Not the hottest time of the year but I can barely survive in the moments between turning the car's AC off and opening up the car door. Amanda caught my preparation tactics...
So we flew in Thursday night. We had Friday and Saturday mornings to spend sight seeing. We decided to visit Mount Lemmon and Sabino Canyon.
Mount Lemmon is the highest mountaintop in the Santa Catalina Mountains. The best part about this Mount is the climb: the Catalina Highway. This windy road takes you all they way to the top of Mount Lemon. There are several places to pull over and take pictures or just admire in the view. If ever there was a day I wish I had owned a cool motorcycle, this was that day. I envied all the harleys tearing up the snaking road but my Mazda 5 did just fine. We never made it to the top (a little over 9,000 ft). We had to turn around to have enough time to make the rehearsal. We made it to 8,000 feet and 6 miles from the town of Summerhaven, at the top. But I was able to create a few panoramics from the pictures I took.
About 6,000 feet up
Closer to 8,000 feet up, notice Amanda on the right
Sabino Canyon or as I pronounced it, Zhivago Canyon, is the canyon that runs between the Catalina Mountains. It 's about about 3.8 miles long... or at least the road in the state park is that long. Lots of people were walking, running, and hiking in the park by the time we got there. There are trams available that give you a guided tour, about a 45 minute round trip. We took the tram to the end and then hiked for about 3 miles (1.5 up and 1.5 back down). The cool thing is that there are tons of paths to hike. The one we were on would lead you all the way back to the entrance but you would be walking right along the mountains' edge. Very cool. Wish it was around the corner. Funny thing happened in the middle of our hike. We realized we were all alone and out of yelling distance to anyone. It was dead quiet. We started to recite the "What to do when confronted with a Mountain Lion" speech that the tour guide had given before dropping us off. Don't bend over. Don't run. Maintain Eye contact. Make yourself as big as possible. Make deep slow sounds. Luckily I'm half Italian and most of these things come naturally. Luckily the only animal to cross our path was some 3 inch lizards.
Here are some pictures and clips from the trip.
A view of the Canyon
Can you thread the needle?
A little piece of home found in Arizona... look closely
At the reception...
On the flight home...
Interesting note: The Philadelphia Airport did not have one flat-screen tuned to the Phillies Game... instead... Sunday Night Football... 500 travelers were quite pissed.
Letters from Section 137
by Mike Agnew Jr.So I was sitting in my seat in section 137 after today's game and I was trying to figure out how to put together all my thoughts of different events that occurred during the game. So I figured I would address those involved or those interested directly in letter form as to be as sarcastic and sincere at the same time....so let's begin...
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Dear Cole Hamels,
I told you at last Saturday's game that you would need to show up to the playoffs. I noticed you dragging your feet right from the get go. Now I know we had locked in the NL East a couple games before but that is no reason to stop playing baseball. You let the runners steal bases on you like it was a pee-wee league game. But I digress. Today's performance was more of the same and to have that press conference this morning complaining about the timing of the game and how the world champs deserve more respect. Maybe you are right but that is something for the fans to complain about not the ball players. You just focus on the game.
Oh, ......and congrats on the kid.
Love,
A Guy from the Stands
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Dear Third Base Umpire,
You are horrible.
Hate,
Mike
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Dear Left Field Umpire,
Please advise the third base umpire and correct him when he is blatantly wrong. Teach him that everyone makes mistakes. Please also tell him that I was a little harsh in my letter to him and for that I am sorry. I got caught up in the moment and my emotions got the best of me.
See you at dinner,
Michael
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Dear Larry-the-Cable-Guy-Looking Guy in Section 136,
I felt horrible watching your aluminum bud light pounders get knocked over not once, not twice, not thrice, but a grand total of FIVE times. Thirty-five bucks spilled onto the concrete below. Wasted...and evaporated. Your Utley jersey fell into that puddle of beer a total of eleven times and your rally towel....well...you couldn't even wave it like all the fans around you because it was saturated with your lost possessions. I recognized the culprit behind this repeated occurrence early on and believe it all stemmed back to the rich bastards sitting in your row. They put all their beers in the cup holder to the left when they should be using the one to the right which, in turn, left 
you, at the end of the row, without a cup holder to call your own. You managed by sticking it under your seat or even between your feet but the rich bastards wouldn't have it. They wanted to break you. So they would get up to go to the bathroom, make you get up from your seat, make you move to the aisle, and in the process kick your ice cold boodlight under your chair where it's gold nectar would return to the earth whence it came. I cry for you, oh sleeveless warrior, because even after all these tragedies you still prevailed. At last call, in the bottom of the 7th, you not only got yourself an ice cold chalice of golden wheat but you also attained a holding sheath for said bruski and force those Armani-wearing losers to shift their beverages one holder to the right. And on top of it all, you tipped the beer-man a buck on top of the already over-inflated price of Seven dollars.
You are my Hero,
A friend
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Dear Dziewit,
I saw Woodland on the Fanavision during the "Bongo Cam" part. She is the ring that binds us.
Pleasants,
the one
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Other Notable Quotes:
Beer Man (handing me a beer for a guy down the row): "Here man, take a sip and pass it down."
Guy on a Cell Phone on the way out:"No we lost............Hamel (pooped) the bed."
Guy behind me: "WHAT ARE YOU SWINGING AT!....I mean....I'm not yelling at you...I'm just saying what are you swinging at....I want to know and you are really far away from me and that makes me yell."
Another guy behind me: "Don't get me wrong I love Jimmy. I do. I just love hits more."
---------------------------------------------
And finally, my favorite part of the night:
3 guys standing in the aisle, waiting to get back to their seat. These are the rich guys from the letter above. One looked like Chuck Bass.
.
.
Guy in seat in front of me: "Hey guys can you sit down while you are waiting to get back to your seats. No one can see."
Chuck: "I'll sit down as soon as I'm back in my seat. Until then, I'm fine right here."
.
(Let the games begin....)
.
Various guys in our section, there was a huge roar of comments but these were the ones I could make out and remember:
"Hey prissy boy, how 'bout you sit down where you are ... or would that rip your sister's pants that you're wearing."
"In here you are just row 4 seat 12, buddy. Move it."
"I'm gonna steal your BMW and (kiss) your girlfriend in it."
Chuck - "I wasn't talking to any of you, I was talking to him"
"If you are talking to him then you are going to deal with all of us."
"You shouldn't be talking to anybody, pretty boy."
Chuck walks back to his seat, sits down, and looks over at us and says, "You talking to me."
"I'm going to (respect) your girlfriend!"
.
.
......and finally a moment of Zen:
This was a real coat...not a trash bag
The Philadelphia Phillies: A Class Act
by Mike Agnew Jr.There are many different reasons I love the game of baseball. The fact that anyone can play it. The fact that it is much more relaxing to watch. Going to the ballpark, strolling around, hearing the roar of the crowd and running back to get a look at the field to see what happened. There are few feelings that can relate.
Last night I was watching the Phillies vs. Astros and I must admit I was not worried. We needed one more win to lock in another NL East Pennant. I was enjoying the game, reclined on my couch, sipping on a cold beer. I watched the Phillies rack up run after run. By the time we entered the 9th inning I could have not been more relaxed. But then I started to worry. Not because of any feeling of doubt that the fightin's would come out victorious but because I was so relaxed. I should have been on the edge of my seat praying for strike after strike, but I wasn't. I was sitting back and watching my boys do what they do best. Was I becoming complacent with the notion of a Phillies post-season? Did I just expect the win? What happened to the beer-soaked Agnew standing on Broad Street screaming until he couldn't talk?
Then something happened. Something that lit that fire back up inside me. That feeling you get when the mets lose or someone on the Giants gets hurt. The feeling of Mick yelling at Rocky, "Get up ROCK!" or Adrian, "There's one thing I want you to do for me.......Win." Then that single bell tolls.....bong. That feeling of a Mitch Williams' snot rocket right before the final pitch of NLCS Clincher in 1993. That feeling of the spirit of Philadelphia. That feeling that you belong to something great. Something that will continue to impress you. Something that makes us different from everywhere else.
Top of the 9th. 2 outs. No men on. Scott Eyre pitching. He just retired the last two batters. But what's this! Charlie Manual walks out to the mound! He's calling for Brade Lidge to face the last batter! Brad Lidge...the guy who everyone is worried about...the guy who everyone thinks is washed up...the guy who peaked last year....the guy that makes everyone text their friends with "Lidge time. Hold on.", "Oh boy...", and "choke artist". Charlie Manuel trusts HIM? Charlie Manual TRUSTS him? oh...
.
.
One pitch later.....
.
That's right....it was a class act in true Phillies' form. I'm glad Charlie did it. Basically saying, "I'm not giving up on this guy. You got a problem with him, you got a problem with me." I don't know about you, but I trust Charlie. And I have had faith in Lidge. One pitch later and the game was over.
2009 National League East Champions - 3rd year in a row.
The team walking out to the HK in left field was pretty cool too. It reminded me of that game in Colorado a couple years ago....
.
...and don't try to ruin this moment by bringing up Utley's F-Bomb from last year...don't be that guy. That was pure emotion. That was Danny Jackson roiding out and tearing his uniform off. We loved it at the time. Let's remember this instead....
.
World’s Finest as Public Enemies
by Mike Agnew Jr.
Captain Marvel/Superman Show Down
The third DC straight-to-DVD animated movie was released the other day, Batman /Superman : Public Enemies. This movie was based on the Public Enemies graphic novel and in no way strays from the made-for-adults genre of super-hero movies DC has been releasing. (See my explanation)
"Superman, when I tell you to, BRING THE HEAT!"
The basic plot is that Lex Luthor is now president of the United States. The country has fallen on rough economic times and crime is on the rise. Luthor hires a handful of super-heros to clean up the streets for the government "unlike some other vigilantes who think they are above the law" a.k.a. Superman and Batman. So Luthor frames Superman right from the beginning and places a billion dollar bounty on his head. This gets every villian and hero up off the couch and hunting down this duo. Let the melee begin. This movie has a slew of characters in it: Grodd, Solomon Grundy, Power Girl, Captain Atom, Giganta, Mongol, Mr Freeze, Captain Marvel, Killer Frost, Hawkman, and many more characters make an appearance including Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler. There are also references to the Flash and the Joker and a match up between Batman and all the different "freeze" characters.
The voice acting is perfect thanks to the return of the original cast from the Batman and Superman Animated Series: Kevin Conroy as Batman, Tim Daly as Superman, and Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor. This gives the movie that authentic feel and adds a little LOST-esk-ness since Clancy Brown played Kelvin Inman (the army sergeant/ Dharma button masher on LOST) and Tim Daly voices the "Previously on LOST..." at the beginning of some episode.(Although denied by the writers and probably Dziewit too, I still believe it's him). There are also some guest voices from Allison Mack of Smallville and John C. McGinley of Scrubs.
Most Awkward DC moment EVER!!!
One of my favorite moments, and probably one of the most shocking was kiss shared between an overweight Amanda Waller and a krypto-roiding Luthor. A few moments later Waller turns on him and, after a long pause, Luthor exhales a curse under his breathe. Again....not a kids movie....but very funny. One quick note about the size of the characters....The original Public Enemies graphic novel was illustrated by Ed McGuinness who has the ability to make characters look huge. He actually puts muscles on top of muscles. So when you watch this movie just make a note that they animators actually toned down the size of the characters....except maybe Powergirl....but for that you will have to watch.
Terry Fitzgibbons wrote a book.
by Mike Agnew Jr.
Terry, my good friend from grade school, some high school, and future president of the united states if not ruler of the world has written a book about his time in the navy. I have ordered a hardback copy already and I suggest you do the same.
Click here to order yourself a copy.
The official book summary: The USS Pelican, or the “Pelican’t” as it was affectionately known, was the craziest, most nerve-racking ship in the navy. How was that possible, though, if it remained tied to the pier essentially for two years? This account contains the musings and observations of one junior officer attempting to stay sane aboard mighty Pelican. Likewise, it includes his attempts to do the same on a different ship—this one doing circles in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
Delve into Agnew’s Mind
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