The Hangover = The Most Overrated Movie Of All Time
by Matt
This movie has the "crown"
First, I must say that I finally saw The Hangover for the first time yesterday. I've heard SO much about the movie. People were touting this movie as the best comedy since Old School and some even claimed it's better. Movies like Anchorman, Wedding Crashers, and Happy Gilmore weren't even in The Hangover's league. I even heard one younger person describe The Hangover was better than Dumb & Dumber! Yes. Keep in mind this kid was 18, so that makes him like, what?... 5 years old when Dumb & Dumber was released. Maybe he was referring to the hit sequel. Now, I try not to over-hype things nowadays, so I avoided Hangover discussions and talk. I couldn't escape it, however, and even heard talk about it on WIP (sports radio). I really wanted to see it. If it was as good as people said, it would live up to the hype. At the same time, I didn't go out of my way to watch it. Yesterday, that changed.
The movie begins and initially introduces the main character's brother-in-law as the crazy wacky guy that's just going to say random things.... okay.... so he's like this movie's "Brick", but crazy. I saw where that was going a mile away. Suddenly, the movie flashed forward to the end of the bachelor party and we find out that they lost his car...errr no, I mean the groom. Wait, this SEEMS familiar. So essentially, the whole movie is a back story to the night as 4 guys celebrate the groom-to-be's final night of single hood. We see them get together, drive to Vegas, begin the night - BLACK OUT. We have no idea what happened next. We see them wake up, Doug is missing, a tiger in their room, a missing tooth, and a crying baby all have taken place. Doug's future father-in-law lends him his luxurious Benz for the trip and when the 3 remaining guys attempt to get their car from the parking garage in order to re-trace their steps, they are given an entirely different car by the valet.... a police cruiser. Wait, THIS sounds so familiar!
Hmmm
The rest of the movie is basically the 3 guys going back to places they visited throughout the night gathering clues to where their friend may be. They even bump into Mike Tyson, whose cameo has been much over-hyped and wasn't as funny as I thought it would be. I mean, you have Mike Tyson here. The possibilities are endless comedy-wise.
Wait, now there are dangerous, violent people after the guys?!?! Then it hit me..... this seems so strange ....and familiar:
Right! Exactly! From the opening moments, I knew that they were building up to something good and something has to happen... really funny... and it never truly did. Why? I couldn't get past the fact they RIPPED off a cheesy Ashton Kutcher movie. Now, Dude Where's My Car? is what it is: A major movie debut for Ashton Kutcher with the share of the lead and a horrible unrealistic stoner plot. Some could argue that it's a "good" horrible. It's so bad that some of it may be good. Regardless of what you think, you can't deny that Dude Where's My Car? came first.
The acting, overall quality, realism, story, and overall feel of The Hangover is superior to Dude Where's My Car? I really liked the funny character development with the 3 guys (we dont' get much of the missing groom-to-be) especially the whipped guy and the running joke about his girlfriend banging a waiter on cruise....or is it a bartender? The fact people are so quick to "crown" this movie is a joke. It had some funny parts, of course, more than the average comedy, yes, but to "crown" it is a little absurd.
"You want to crown them, go ahead and crown their asses," he said, his voice rising. "But they are exactly who we thought they are!"
Overall, good movie, just not the movie everyone thought it is. I think that one of two things happened here. One, people are just marks and never heard of, saw, or remember Dude Where's My Car? Two, people just didn't care and blatantly ignored the fact the movie was a rip-off and fell victim to the crazy Alan character besides the fact he was a crazier "Brick" from Anchorman. The Hangover is for a generation that will never get to live through first-run classic movies like Old School, Anchorman, dare I say Dumb & Dumber and give them a chance to memorize some quotes and think they are being funny. This is their claim to fame. Hey, goooooooooood for youuuuuuuuuuu, but it's not that great.
For your comparison:
Dumb & Dumber: * Too good to rank*
Old School: 5/5
Anchorman: 5/5
Wedding Crashers: 4.5/5
The Hangover: 3/5
Dude Where's My Car?: 2/5
Bad Movies……..even in HD
by Mike Agnew Jr.I recently stumbled upon a reservoir of HD movies someone uploaded. Since most of the movies were in 1080P, I could not resist downloading and watching them. I was instantly made aware that a pretty picture will not always cover up a horrible story.
Taking of Pelham 123
This movie was doomed from the start. John Travolta as a bad guy... it's Swordfish all over again. In fact, this movie should have been called Swordfish 2: Underground Train. Travolta is back in all his go-tee glory with a bland seen-it-before storyline. If there is any saving grace, its Denzel Washington. He's back with his explain-it-to-me-like-I'm-a-5-year-old attitude. He plays a transportation coordinator in charge of New York's Subways. He comes to work one morning and, low and behold, one of his subway cars is, well, taken. The hijacking occurs in the first five minutes but you will probably miss it because you will be in the bathroom throwing up due to the sporadic editing of the opening title shots. Random zooms and speedy panning shots of New York get thrown at you like postcards taped to baseballs. Once you have recovered, all that's left is the same old, same old: hostage situation, money is demanded, but (just like swordfish) there is a stupid twist that has something to do with the stock market. This movie begs to be be intelligent but, between Travolta dropping f-bombs to get street cred and crowbarring Tony Soprano as the Mayor of NY, you instantly stop caring. This movie also makes NYC cops look like idiots. On the way to deliver Travolta's ransom money, more cops and citizens die than are on the train in the first place. One cop rides his motorcycle into a parked car. All in all, nothing happens in this movie. If you still want to watch this movie make sure to watch Swordfish first. I would give this movie a C- but since it has Denzel, I'm going to bump it up a little bit. Rating: C+.
Orphan
Oh, Dear God. Well, you should already know what you are getting in this movie. Creepy little girl gets adopted by a normal family and then things start going wrong and it turns out she is a demon or something. You are partially right except for two things: 1. The family is not normal. They live in Conneticut where everyone is apparently depressed all the time. By the end you want them to all die anyway. 2. The girl is not a demon but something equally as stupid. In the end, this is one of those movies that amps up the flute-a-phones so that every time someone turns a corner, answers their cell phone, or opens the medicine cabinet, you will think something is about to jump out at you. The funny thing is, it only happens about 1 out of every 5 times. So, at some point you will jump because they have cried wolf so often. Is it scary... yes but only in the way of someone screaming in your ear. You get what you expect. Rating: C.
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A Perfect Getaway
This movie is an instant hit as long as it stays where it belongs... on TNT on a Saturday afternoon while it is raining outside. I could definitely see myself watching Drumline and seeing a notification "A Perfect Getaway" up next. The storyline is pretty basic: 3 couples go on vacation... one of the couples is a pair of murders. The couples come in three flavors: nerdy suburbanites, hunting southerners, and trailer trash. Now, I won't give away which couple are the killers, but I will tell you that the movie is full of fake-outs. Everyone has a legitimate reason to be the killer and you will not miss any of these clues because the camera will zoom up and play dramatic music every time a fake-out occurs. Timothy Olyphant, star of Hitman, a soldier in Transformers and the bad guy in Live Free or Die Hard, actually gave an okay performance. This is a hard thing to admit because I hate him in all other movies. He is right up there with the asian guy from the Hangover. You will see this movie reinvent itself 4 different times throughout. It almost feels like there were 4 different directors and probably 6 different endings, something I'm sure would be on the DVD. I felt like this movie tricks the audience so many times that once you know the ending you cannot go back and watch the movie because you will wonder, "Why would they say that if no one could hear them? Why pretend not to be the killers behind lock doors?". Rating: B-.
The Ugly Truth
You do not need to actually watch this movie. You can just watch P.S. I Love you and 27 Dresses while eating 30 cold gorditas from the grimiest Taco Bell near you. Then, wait an hour. The horrible gut bomb you drop later will be The Ugly Truth. To be fair, I should not review this movie because I never finished watching it. That's pretty rough when I can normally sit through anything that graces the screen of my television set. From what I did watch, the story is exactly as I have described above. You have the self-loathing Jesse Spano played by Katherine Heigl, who just so happens to have cats and hate men. Then you have some grown up A.C. Slater played by Gerard Butler who somehow has a TV show all about bashing women and romance. I'm sure by the end they learn something from one another. They probably fall in love due to a borderline love/hate relationship, then something happens probably due to a mis-communication of some sort. Then someone makes a grand gesture and they compromise. Blah blah blah. No one should ever have to watch this repetitious drivel.
Rating: F-.
Abrams Boldly Goes…
by Mike Agnew Jr.
I honestly don't know what took me so long to write about this movie. It instantly sky-rocketed to my personal Top Ten among the likes of Rocky, Superman, and Back to the Future. I originally saw the movie as a better-than-average-quality bootleg. I downloaded it and watched it by myself. At the end of the movie... I stood up... and clapped... in my family room... by myself. I have since raved about the movie to my friends and loved ones. I have since watched the movie 11 12 13 times. (I watched it a few times since starting this post.) If you want to watch it... come over... and I will gladly make it 12 14. What follows is my review of Star Trek:
Well, we are back again... we are welcomed to the bridge of Starship Enterprise. But wait... these are not the faces we know... oh no... no, no, no... Are we about to watch a re-make? Well, yes and no. Yes, this is a Star Trek movie with new actors portraying the mantles of Captain Kirk, Spock, and Dr. McCoy as well as the rest of the Enterprise team we have come to know and, for some, love. But please do not be fooled. This movie does not simply whore its trademark and characters with the goal of making a movie that makes a video game that makes a puff daddy remix and video. This movie stands alone and single-handedly re-defines the Star Trek Universe.
The Star Trek Legacy
Making a new Star Trek movie is a very difficult task. You have to worry about the reception from millions of Star Trek Fans. It's not like any of them could actually beat anyone up or cause any physical harm, but I'm sure they are quite annoying. I fit more in the middle... well... maybe a little closer to the Trekkie side but I can't speak Klingon or cite episodes or anything like that. I started watching Star Trek the Next Generation afternoons after school, but before you judge, I was also watching Batman the Animated Series, Power Rangers, and Breaker High. But, I am a science fiction junky, especially when it deals with stories that cross paths. When new Star Trek shows started coming out, I had to give them a go. I still remember Star Trek Deep Space Nine's premiere. It was actually in prime time and there was a handful of Next Generation stars to give it the Star Trek cred it needed. eventually the show started repeating itself and I stopped watching. Then I decided to go backwards and start watching the original generation...Kirk, Spock, Scotty.
See....they were young once too
I went right into the films. To my surprise, they were really good. I mean, you had to wait through the "city council" scenes where something I didn't understand was being decided or something. But once that was over you could get back to the action and back to the characters. There was something about this team that was different from the rest. Sure, in the other shows the characters went through space, got in a problem, solved it, and learned a lesson. But they never did it with style. Kirk... he was the man. And it was fun to watch him work. I was instantly hooked. I even liked the one where they traveled back to the 80s to get a whale... that was the whole movie... but it was fun. The original Star Trek Team: Kirk, Spock, Chekov, Sulu, Uhura, McCoy, Scotty. Time after time they beat the bad guys and did so in the coolest way... as friends just hanging out on a spaceship.
Star Trek: The New Class
If you are even vaguely familiar with all things Trek you will be sitting through the movie with your character checklist, and don't worry they are all there. Also, the casting was... perfect. I had a few reservations before seeing the movie for the first time. Sylar as Spock had me the most worried but after the opening scene I was so into the story that the poop that is the show Heroes left my mind completely. (I will be tackling that review shortly). Another hiccup was Sulu played by Harold of Harold and Kumar. But, then again, would anyone really expect Abrams to be able to find someone with a voice even close to George Takei. All-in-all, the new cast is terrific.
No Belding, No Screech
Music and the Sounds of Silence
Enterprise brushing some dirt off its shoulder
The Music, Sounds, and Silences of this film were the key to the story of this movie. Within the first 5 minutes of this movie you will be emotionally pulled in one direction and then thrown in another. Abrams takes pwhew pwhew out of fighting in space, turns down the volume on your TV, and replaces it with a wondrous orchestra. Instantly you become more focused on the visuals and the emotion than the fight itself. Abrams uses silence to fill the emptiness of space, a feeling that we rarely see in films set in the void of space. There are times when you will hear gun fire outside a ship and then from inside the ship. My personal favorite note about the music of Star Trek is how close it relates the music of LOST. When I first watched the opening scene I whispered to myself, "Claire's baby." Keep your eyes out for the scene where the Enterprise rises out of the dust of space and the music was almost exactly the same as the "We are going on a hike around the Island and it will take 3 episodes" theme from the show.
Lensflare.com
We decided on 300 reading lights.....
If you are looking to be a photographer and want to see the proper use of lens flare then this movie is for you. What I am trying to say is that Abrams uses lens flares a lot in this movie. But don't worry you don't need shades....unless you are from Miami and wear shades to bed. <insert 80's riff> The flares give the sense of feeling the sun, the brightness, and the warmth. Since, as you might have guessed, most of the movie takes place in space. Space has suns and stars. They are bright. The twinkle. And they get in the lens. Also the new Enterprise bridge is setup with some 200 Ikea lights increasing the amount of lens flare indoors as well.
Final Thoughts
To Non-Star Trek Fans: Watch the movie. You don't need any Star Trek knowledge to understand this story.
To Star Wars Fans: Suck it up. Yes, Star Wars is better, but I've got to be honest. Round 2 of Star Trek is much better than the second round of Star Wars movies. Nothing will ever beat Han or Yoda but for normal humans and half-vulcans these guys are not half-bad. bah doon, chiiich...
To Non-Science Fiction People: Sit quietly and look at the screen. Do not scoff or walk out at any point. Once everyone else has enjoyed the movie, spend the after movie discussion smiling and nodding. You can get back to the Ugly Truth. You might need to watch it twice if you never "get" time travel.
To Star Trek Fans who date someone who hates Star Trek: Rent 21 or The Ugly Truth on DVD and offer it as an alternative. Once you throw both movies out at 10 minutes you will be able to pop in Star Trek and enjoy.
To LOST fans : You have less than a month before your next LOST fix. This is the best substitute I can provide.
This is one of the best movies I have seen in a while. The story is cyclical, which I love, and even though it starts a new Star Trek timeline it still leaves the original where it belongs, as legend.
In the words of the great Captain Kirk......"Buckle up."
World’s Finest as Public Enemies
by Mike Agnew Jr.
Captain Marvel/Superman Show Down
The third DC straight-to-DVD animated movie was released the other day, Batman /Superman : Public Enemies. This movie was based on the Public Enemies graphic novel and in no way strays from the made-for-adults genre of super-hero movies DC has been releasing. (See my explanation)
"Superman, when I tell you to, BRING THE HEAT!"
The basic plot is that Lex Luthor is now president of the United States. The country has fallen on rough economic times and crime is on the rise. Luthor hires a handful of super-heros to clean up the streets for the government "unlike some other vigilantes who think they are above the law" a.k.a. Superman and Batman. So Luthor frames Superman right from the beginning and places a billion dollar bounty on his head. This gets every villian and hero up off the couch and hunting down this duo. Let the melee begin. This movie has a slew of characters in it: Grodd, Solomon Grundy, Power Girl, Captain Atom, Giganta, Mongol, Mr Freeze, Captain Marvel, Killer Frost, Hawkman, and many more characters make an appearance including Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne's butler. There are also references to the Flash and the Joker and a match up between Batman and all the different "freeze" characters.
The voice acting is perfect thanks to the return of the original cast from the Batman and Superman Animated Series: Kevin Conroy as Batman, Tim Daly as Superman, and Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor. This gives the movie that authentic feel and adds a little LOST-esk-ness since Clancy Brown played Kelvin Inman (the army sergeant/ Dharma button masher on LOST) and Tim Daly voices the "Previously on LOST..." at the beginning of some episode.(Although denied by the writers and probably Dziewit too, I still believe it's him). There are also some guest voices from Allison Mack of Smallville and John C. McGinley of Scrubs.
Most Awkward DC moment EVER!!!
One of my favorite moments, and probably one of the most shocking was kiss shared between an overweight Amanda Waller and a krypto-roiding Luthor. A few moments later Waller turns on him and, after a long pause, Luthor exhales a curse under his breathe. Again....not a kids movie....but very funny. One quick note about the size of the characters....The original Public Enemies graphic novel was illustrated by Ed McGuinness who has the ability to make characters look huge. He actually puts muscles on top of muscles. So when you watch this movie just make a note that they animators actually toned down the size of the characters....except maybe Powergirl....but for that you will have to watch.
Cashback…and some other movies
by Mike Agnew Jr.A few days ago Amanda, a girl who follows me around and shows adoration towards me, and I figured out how to use her Netflix account on my XBox. It's pretty sweet. I had previously been downloading and ripping dvds to harddrives and playing them on the XBox. Now I just scroll through, pick the movie, and it starts playing. Sometimes it plays in HD as I discovered for all 4 seasons of LOST.
This brought up a new opportunity for movie watching not just because of the instant on demand aspect but because of the variety as well. One of the hardest things to do is find a movie that you will enjoy and you have heard nothing about. Well let me say first that the Instant Play List for Netflix movies is good but there is a whole lot of crap in there. I stumbled upon Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus right off the bat. Ironically Preston and Steve did as well because they were talking about it this morning on the radio. However I didn't find it as enjoyable as they did. Although it was as campy and as cheesy as the title, it still gave me less than expected. It was just too easy to make fun of. After about 10 minutes I stopped laughing and moved on to another selection. Don't fall into the internet gap of thinking this is funny. It's not. give me a Mystery Science Theater 3000 any day.
After some trial and error, we ended up finding a gem by the name of Cashback.
Plot: "After a painful breakup, Ben develops insomnia. To kill time, he starts working the late night shift at the local supermarket, where his artistic imagination runs wild."
This movie is the first movie I have ever scene that depicts how a person feels after a big break-up. The way your mind wanders. They way all you want is for time to pass and for some reason it starts to slow down. The main character, played by the guy who plays Wood in the Harry Potter movies, find himself unable to sleep. He takes a job at a 24-hour supermarket. His imagination and reality begin to get blurred. It gets a little confusing as to whether you are watching a drama or a sci-fi movie for a bit but once you chalk it up to artistic story telling you will get back to enjoying the movie. I would also like to make a note that there is a handful of nudity in this movie similar to the way it was in Titanic. He's an artist and likes to sketch. I suggest watching this movie. Do it now.
Some other notables:
The Express : Being as I hate the movies Remember the Titans and We are Marshall, I finally have a Racism/Football Movie I can stand behind. The Express is about Ernie Davis' journey towards being the first African American Heisman Trophy Winner. The story is solid. Dennis Quad as Coach Ben Schwartzwalder is perfect and even gave me chills when some of his lines sounds just like my high school football coach, Dr. Algeo. There is no silly resolution where an Aretha Franklin song brings together the team and racisim is erased in 5 minutes in the middle of the movie. There is no key bad guy. There is just the sport and the respect it has for talent no matter the race. One of my favorite lines comes as the linemen are lining up. Bad guy: "I'm gonna send you back to Africa." Good Guy: "Too bad I'm from Philly!" I stood up and yelled with my fist in the air in the middle of the lab. I loved this movie.
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New in Town: Now this movie is a chick flick and stupid and campy and predictable. But I still loved it and all because of two actors/characters in the movie. The actors were NOT Renée Zellweger and Harry Connick Jr. They were Siobhan Fallon as Blanche Gunderson and J.K. Simmons as Foreman Stu Kopenhafer. Siobhan plays a delightful Minnesotan with an amazing accent. I guarantee after you watch this movie you will be saying Tee-ap-e-o-ka for the rest of the day. Don't cha know.
A Letter to Ryan Reynolds
by Mike Agnew Jr.Dear Ryan,
My name is Mike Agnew and I have something very dear to ask you, but first I would like to say a few things. I have included pictures so you can remember along with me.
Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza place
Now I have been with you since the beginning. Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza place was a long name for a show and I bet that had something to do with it's success. However when they shortened it to Two Guys and a Girl.....I missed the pizza place. I guess you just don't know what you got till it's gone. I definitely remember a feeling that the show jumped the shark. I remember your character ended up becoming a doctor or something and then there was no fun left in the show.
But none of that matters because then you hit stardom with your roll....... VAN WILDER.
I loved Van Wilder. I thought it was the perfect break out movie for you. Everyone wanted to be your character in college; riding around in a golf cart, knowing everything about woman, and gaining the adoration of the entire student population. Also doing a movie with Tara Reid before her ab re-arranging must have been pretty amazing. What is Kumar like in person? Is he really as smart as everyone says?
Fat Ryan in Just Friends
Van Wilder was the role that was made for you. Your quick wit, subtle coolness, and ability to draw out a lot of silent joke and reaction humor matched perfectly with this character. I think this acting also translates into many romantic comedies too: Just Friends and Definitely Maybe being a couple. I enjoyed both of these movies even though they bordered on chick flicks. "It's a town full of losers and I'm pulling out of here to win." Haha Awesome. At the end of Just Friends did you sing that song in one take? It looks like you did cause you missed some of the words but that's cool. It makes it more real just like the music videos I used to do when I was younger. (check out my agnewsmind blog).
It's close to Miiiiiid...Night
I also saw Amityville Horror. I really liked the original and I had hoped this would just be an updated and more enjoyable rendition. What I got was an extreme version of the original. Everything was TO THE EXTREME. In the scene with the flies, it became flies TO THE EXTREME. In the scene with the blood, it was blood TO THE EXTREME. It should have just been called Amityville Horror :Extreme Edition. I liked how crazy you got in that movie. You were scary. There was just one thing I would have changed and that is the contacts that you wore every time you went crazy in the movie...it was kind of like watching Thriller.
Anyway....there is a reason for this letter. I need to ask you something. We have had a really good really healthy movie star-fan relationship and I want that to continue. I have been burned in the past by some others (T. Burton, H. Ledger, T.Office). I want what we have to continue. I read the other day that you have take up the role of the Hal Jordan Green Lantern. Now I think you really deserve a good comic book role. And I have no issue with you being the face of both a Marvel and a DC character. I hope you do great things with the Deadpool movie. I never read Deadpool and frankly know nothing about him but I welcome your portrayal and hope that it does the comic justice. I am going to ignore the Wolverine movie as that was just a terrible movie all around. So you have a clean slate. Blade III was a little iffy too but that series of movies was going down hill fast and if you ever watched them in HD...wow...they are the perfect example of action movies they get worse when up-converted.
Green Lantern is a great mantle and the great thing about it is there is an almost limitless amount of Green Lanterns that you could be but Hal Jordan just isn't one of them. If you have ever looked at the comics...you just don't look like him. If anybody he looks just like Dennis Quad.
Booster Gold
I think this might be a good way to give a tip of the cap to the comic book community and name another role you would want to play. I mean jeez I would think you playing the Flash or actually Booster Gold would be perfect for you. Sure he is a mid-carder but he was the first one on the scene when Doomsday, the guy who killed superman, came around. He held him off till Superman arrived. he also played a huge role in the recent 52 series. It just fits better and I hope you would consider it.
Thanks for listening.
Your Friend and Fan,
Mike Agnew Jr.
P.S. - My girlfriend thinks your hot.
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