Agnew's Mind He's got a long journey ahead of him.

Wizard of Odd Dream – Part 2

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

Wizard of Odd Dream - Part 1 (in case you didn't read it)

So I realize there was almost a month delay for the second half of this dream.  I know that some of you might doubt that I can retain the details of a dream after it occurred so long ago.  Those of you that know me...know this is not true.  I did retell myself the dream right away after waking up.  It brings out all the little details.  This second part is not as long.  And occurred very quickly...probably because I was about to wake up.  Kinda like Heroes...where they drag you around for an hour then in the last 2 minutes of the show something actually happens...but I digress....Part 2....

There was a doorway left where the unicorn has been floating.  The sky was all cloudy now, purple and black clouds swirled into a circle around the door.  Scarecrow closed her eyes and a clear staircase appeared before us.  "Come quickly!", she yelled.  We both ran up the steps as fast as possible.  The container with the life force was still vibrating and we getting heavier by the minute.  It felt like it was growing larger yet there was no strain or change to the container.  We walked through the doorway, slamming the door behind us.
We were now in a hallway.  All the walls were white and there were fluorescent lights buzzing all along the ceiling.  We caught our breath and started to walk to one end.  We ended up in a room that looked like a news room from any 70's movie that involved characters who were news reporters.  Typewriters and computers with green displays were on every desk.  The desks faced one another and were all grouped into fours.  As we ran through papers were flying off the desks.  We made it through that room and we were back in another hallway.  This hallway was just like the last one, only it seemed much older.  There were water stains on the ceiling and there was this weird yellowish-brownish tint to the walls.  Some of the fluorescent lights had vines growing into them.  Scarecrow grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hallway and just around the corner right in the wall was this large statue.

The statue was of a large Egyptian looking warrior dressed in a very nice black suit.  He had a staff in one hand and a hammer in the other.  The staff and hammer were chained together.  There was a hollow circle in the chest of the statue.  I instinctively took the lid off of my container and pushed the open side into the statue.  The container started to resist and push it's way back out.  It felt like trying to push one of those big paint buckets under water.  The eyes of the statue began to light up.  The opening in the crest began to seal itself off from the top down, crushing the container, and almost chopping off my hand.  A bit of the life force was hanging out of the statues chest as the seal came down.  Once completely closed the little piece was severed from the rest, instantly turned black, and dropped to the floor.  By the time it reached the floor, it was already dust.  It powdered the floor and blew away.  The statue broke itself free from the wall and stood at my side.  Scarecrow and and I looked at each other and waited for the the statue,the Tin Man, to speak.  Nothing.  So we decided to keep moving and walked further down the hallway.  We came to a giant vault door.  I looked over  to the Tin Man and gave him a nod.  He took the his staff and hammer and swung it as hard as possible against the door.  Nothing happened.  Then we heard a voice near by.

"That's not gonna work.  If you want to get in follow me."  He was leaning up against the wall, in the room of yet another hallway.  The room had bright yellow walls and was full of papers just like the newsroom.  In the middle of the room was piano.  The keys on the piano looked all speckled.  He guided us through a door on the other side of the room.  This led us into a new hallway with a glass wall on the far side spanning the length of the hallway.  The man, who I now recognized looked a lot like Simon Pegg, was walking to the far end of the hallway where there was a mop, a wooden dresser, and a baby in backpack-baby-carrying-thing.  As he strolled to the collection of items he continued to talk.  "You guys are quite the weird bunch aren't ya?  You come all this way and try to knock open the vault with a hammer?  Really?"  He opens up a drawer of the dresser and removes what looks to be a very heavy hockey glove.  "I mean there are lots of ways to open normal safes but who would use a hammer?"  He puts the baby-in-the-backpack on.  "Now I know how to open that door.  I can help you."  He picks up the mop with his right hand. "But see there is only one problem."  He puts glove on his left.

"I'm guarding that vault."

Suddenly all three items he put on begin to glow and merge.  There is a big flash of light and the man is now holding what appears to be.....a light saber.  His other hand has transformer into a big metal fist that looks like it is heated with lava.  Both items plug into his backpack which seems to be powering both.   In the distance you can still hear the baby crying but it is very faded.  He charges towards us.  The Tin Man steps in front of us.  He spins his staff and slams the hammer part into the ground just as the man is about to reach us.  The floor of the hallway explodes and the man is sent flying back.  All three items return to their original state.  "You didn't have to do that.  You just come in here and try to open the vault without even asking.  I know I'm not good at my job but you could have at least given me a little respect instead of just having your big man knock me down."  The Lion.  The Tin Man extends his hand and helps the Lion up.

"Now will you show me how to open the safe?", I say.

"Why do you want to open it so bad?   There is normally a reason things are locked up to well," said the Lion.

Scarecrow jumped in, "We just do.  Now are you going to help us or do we have to make that baby cry again?"

"Fine. Fine.  The piano is the key.  Just follow the cats,"said the Lion.

I backtracked into the previous room and cleared all the paper off the piano.  I thought to myself...Cats? what the hell is this guy talking about ca..... and then I saw them.  The piano wasn't speckled and dirty.  There were miniature little cats on keys.  All the keys but one.  I pressed it.  Some of the cats had been sleeping and this startled them.  They began to move again leaving a set of open keys.  I lined up my fingers and hit the chord.  Again they moved leaving eleven keys open this time.  "[Scarecrow] help me out with this."  I said.  But she wasn't there.  She wasn't even in the room.  I looked at the Tin Man and he just shook his head.  The Lion stepped up.  "I can hit a few for you."  So together we pressed the last set.  I instantly heard the vault click.

"[Tin Man], go check the vault."  The Tin Man ran around the corner and then there was a huge ground shaking thud.  I ran around the corner to see what had happened.  The Vault door had opened with such a force that the Tin Man was sent into the wall.   His eyes began to fade, his arms fell, and he shut down.  A giant man stepped out of the vault.  He had a pinstripe suit on.  The suit had coat tails and a top hat.  He was smoking one of those extended cigarettes that the penguin would smoke...in fact...he looked a whole lot like the penguin.  He marched towards the room I was in. "Looking for ME?", he said.   He ducked through the doorway to get into the room.  Just me and the Lion now.  The lion looked at me, turned, and ran through the door leading to the glass hallway.  I could make out a "sorry" just before the door slammed.  I fell back into the pile of papers.  The giant man started laughing and reached out for me.....

......and I woke up.

Escape from Earth Dream

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

My dream last night was interesting.  I woke up a could time but I was able to recollect a lot of it this morning.  I think the main theme was the fact that I had to go to the bathroom.  I eventually made it there in the morning but you will find that most of the dream was me in search for a bathroom...haha...Anyway

The dream started off with me playing XBox at my old house on Cayuga Circle.  I was just chilling in the recliner playing the best game in the world, "Jon and Kate plus 8: the Videogame".  Yes that's right.  You can sit there and argue with Kate all day, setup stuff for the kids to do, and even fight off the paparazzi.  So I'm sitting there picking my favorite come back to Kate's ego-bashing when the kids from my Goddard school video came running in.  They wanted me to dress the kids in different outfits.  "I don't want to do that.  That's boring.  Here you guys play it."  So I got up and walked out of the room.  I was now in the upstairs of the Fieldhouse (previously the Independence Brew Pub) in Philly.  Played a game of pool against some bikers (motorcycle) from any Segal or Jackie Chan movie.  I won without having to break a pool cue over any one's head.  It was actually a quick game with very limited rules.  I'm pretty sure I picked up the side of the table at one point and no one saw a problem with that.  Then it hit me I knew I had to use the bathroom.

So I went down the stairs towards the restrooms.  I went down the first floor but for some reason continued downward to the basement level. (A level that doesn't exist in the real world).  The stairwell was very skinny and claustrophobic.  I hopped down the steps quickly in case someone tried to get up the stairs.  When I got down there I was in the basement of a bar in Conshy...I think its the boathouse...there were more pool tables.  But with no bathrooms..I needed to mosey my way back upstairs.  But when I got back up the stairs I was outside in this huge field.

A lot of people were in this huge field with me.  If I looked left there was a city and if I looked right there was another city.  My whole view felt like I was looking through a fish-eye lens.  Suddenly there were two shots that sounded from the left.  It looked like the right city had fired missiles.  The missiles started to arc towards the left city leaving a trail of smoke in the sky.   The left city retaliated by sending a couple missiles of its own.  I watched to see the missiles collide when I realized that the missile the right city had originally fired were not missile at all but actually planes.  The missiles matched their planes and there was huge explosion in the sky.  We were all standing right in the middle of war zone! With the explosion as a cover, a Concord jet crosses the sky and tries to make an emergency landing on the left city's runway.  The  jet hits the ground hard and fast....too fast...it starts swerving back and forth until it starts lofting into the air and back down again.  We hear the jet engines rev back up to high and the jet spirals back into the air....but it doesn't have enough speed and curves up into the air and then turns back towards us.  It's coming right for us....very LOST, very MIB style.  We all go running out the way and dive behind an embankment as the jet crashes down on its side.  It slides to a stop in the dirt.  As soon as the jet comes to a rest the hatch on the side blows off. A man comes climbing out.  Now I don't know why but we had to avoid this man and not let him find us.  So we ran as fast as we could to another plane.  However this was a special plane as I would soon find out.

It felt like any other plane ride but the plane actually took us to a different planet.  Sorry to say there were no special effects in this part...I assume the cut-backs to the economy have reached my imagination as well.  I could however look out the window and see outer space.  The planet we landed on looked I lot like earth but with a bigger ozone, a couple of rings, and no moon.  When we landed we were, of course, in the wrong spot.  We had to get to another side of the planet and fast.  So we walked because in my dream although the planet is the same size as earth it's curved like a sphere.  As we ran there were highways and traffic jams.  There was a lot of business parks and factories.  Everyone was working and looked pretty pissed.  One thing that was cool...was that the gravity was lighter.  So we were a big group of people just bounding through the world.  It didn't look like anyone else could do this.  There were lots of cars on the highways and they were from all different times.  Old model T's with new BMW's.  I even saw a station wagon with wood paneling, a Woody, and said, " Hey look it's like Mom and Dad Save the World!"  I woke up right after that and said out loud, " Man, I miss that movie."

Now one more cool thing about this dream was that when I fell back asleep I was back on the plane heading towards the planet.  But we ended up landing in a different spot.  And for some fun mind bending as we were hopping to the location again, we passed our first plane.  We also rented a school bus half way.  Never did get to the location.  But the second time I was able to find a port-o-john.  As soon as I slid it to occupied, I woke up and bolted to the bathroom.

Wizard of Odd Dream – Part 1

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

So I will preface this with the fact that I had a few honey roasted peanuts before bed.  I normally indulge in some oreos and milk and they give me pretty steady dreams.  I will be much more careful next time.

The order of this dream was all over the place but there were a few parts that I was able to remember.  The overall theme was close to Wizard Of OZ meets Never-ending Story meets the Unnecessary violence of Saw2-5.

It started off and I was in the Lansdale Catholic(my old high school) cafeteria.  There was some sort of competition that had just occurred.  My team had lost and the other team went over and started emptying out our lockers as punishment.  I recognized the girl emptying out my locker as Ashley...a girl in my mom's class at Arcadia.  I had only met her once before but she made the cameo so I thought I would give her the plug.  As she emptied out my locker she threw out my tin of Altoids.  Now for some reason, and I blame dream logic for this, I became furious. "She didn't even check if there were still some in there. She probably just assumed it was empty because it didn't rattle. But sometimes Altoids don't. I'm gonna get her for this."  As I walked up to confront her another girl stopped me.    This girl although faceless in my mind now was my first partner I had in this journey...my Scarecrow...

So Scarecrow and I show up at this zoo after nightfall.  All the animals are sleeping.  She tells me we are looking for some life force thing.  I assume its going to be glowing...you know...like most life force things.  So we come up to this fenced in exhibit which is similar to what you would see setup for a pride of lions, big and spacious with plants here and there.  But there are not lions in this exhibit...instead there are these larger than life crocodiles.  There a mix between crocodiles and Falcor from Never-ending story.  Anyway there were 3 of them all sleeping.  I was shocked at how large they were and to be honest a bit scared.  It was like how Dr. Grant felt facing the T-Rex...shocked but still intrigued.   The largest of the 3 started to wake up and looked right at me.  Without hesitation it shot off the ground and into the sky and then swung back around to fly right over our heads.  It was an amazing sight....and then things got weird.  In the spot where the giant crocodile was laying the mud started moving around.  Then something very white and bony was making its way out of the mud.  Finally there was a bright flash of light and there stood this Unicorn.  I know they normally have the sweet connotation of having pixie dust and rainbows around them...well this one was not like the rest.  There was a weird evil feeling around it.  He walked up to me and Scarecrow and said, "You are looking for the (life force thing).  Well I am here to tell you that it does not exist and you will not find it.  Now leave or I will kill you."

Scarecrow turned to me and said, "He's lying and I can show you."  "Do it," I said.  Scarecrow raised her hands towards the Unicorn.  He took this as a threat and started to charge towards us.  Just before he reached us Scarecrow closed her eyes and these blue vapor-like ribbons came out of her hands.  The ribbons caused the Unicorn to start shedding its skin in a very violent way.  There was blood everywhere.  He screamed in agony as his entire body was torn apart and deep in the center there was a white glow.  It was the life force we were looking for.  It slowly drifted from the Unicorns body.  once removed everything went silent.  there was no more screaming.  Scarecrow made a container out of thin air to put the remains of the unicorn in.  The life force floated towards us but neither of us could touch it...it was painful to touch like every muscle in your body tightening at the same time.  So we put the life force back in the container with the rest of the Unicorn and as soon as we did the screaming returned.  The unicorn begged that we remove the life force.  I sealed the lid and the screaming became muffled but I could still feel the screams vibrating the side of the container.

Need to take a break....TinMan and Lion are next...

Previous Dream….

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

This be Agnew

Sorry but I never posted this dream but did explain it to a few people....this was right after the break up when I had this dream.

I was driving through my old paper route. I was in a teal '57 Chevy Bel Air. As I was driving I notice my car (the one I drive nowadays) up ahead parked on the corner. I start to get out of the Chevy but I know that I'm leaving it in neutral instead of park. As I start to walk to my car I hear the Chevy start to roll. I turn around and start to chase the Chevy. It keeps picking up speed and it begins to move so fast that I can't catch up. I give up running and the Chevy continues to roll backwards. I see a snow bank in the distance. "That will stop it." I think. The Chevy ends up rolling into it and then plows through the snow bank. It continues to roll all the way out to the main road...202. All I can do is stand there and watch. The Chevy then get plowed by 3 cars and gets completely obliterated. Scarps of metal are left all over the road.

And I wake up.

I Woke Up Laughing, because of Ganter.

    by Jon Hassinger

Back in February, I was having very negative dreams, about death, unemployment, break-up, loss, and deception, every night. However, for the past 18 days during the wonderful month of March, I've been having nothing but positive dreams.
I met Cole Hamels in the mall the other night, I helped Sawyer convince The Dharma Initiative to accept Jack, Kate, etc, as part of the group. But last night I hit an all-time high, as far as great dreams are concerned.
I don't remember any real details, other than it was set in the past, mid-2007. Agnew, Ganter and I were on our lunch break. Ganter was driving, and we were leaving wherever we were, to head back to work. The parking lot was crowded, so Ganter decided to drive forward, up onto the sidewalk, around the car next to us, and head right into the street, in one full-motion. The back of the car began to tailspin, and we hydra-planed into a 360, first facing traffic, but then landing with traffic, dodging all on coming cars, landing perfectly how we wanted to.
We then broke into silent, can't-breathe laughter. Fearing for our lives one second, then realizing everything worked out perfectly the next.
I then woke myself up, from laughing out loud.

I've had many of those moments with Agnew and Ganter(laughing really hard)...so for those reading this, try to set up a lunch date with them.

Manhunt Dream

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

I don't have as many details as I normally do but this dream was plenty real.  In fact it kept me asleep through all my alarms and I ended up waking up at 9AM on the dot.

So I forget why exactly it started but I was in a dorm like building...long hallways with a bunch of doors....physically things made no sense because you could walk into one room and there would only be a table and lamp in it and then you could run into another room and you would be in a jungle.  Very odd...yet normal.  So somehowI become the object of a manhunt.  There are several teams setup and they are trying to kill me.  The teams range from TV show characters such as Mulder and Skully from X-Files...to some sort of Grimace(McDonald's) looking slugs.  There was one girl after me in a full catwoman type suit who kept throwing batrang looking blade things at me that I was able to dodge.  I did have a weapon on me that looked like a cross between a regular 9mm (because we all know what they look like) and the Nintendo Zapper.  This gun would load bullets but when it would shoot it would send this lightsaberish beam at the person it was aimed at.  The beam would normally push the person away but sometime it would begin to burn the person I guess based off of how the moment was playing out.

Now the game was extreme...I was being hunted and every moment I had to finally catch my breath (insert Walikci Asthma joke here) and figure out where to go next, another team would be on me.  The worst part was was that there was no place for me to get to. Like normally in movies the hero has somehwere to go...some goal that will make them safe at least for a while and then things blow up but they gain a sidekick and then make it to the next spot.  None of that for me.  I just ran and kept on running and every once in a while I had would fight different aliens and people.  While I was fighting them they would keep yelling for more "troops" to come to their aid to finally catch me.  I do recall at one point I was saved by Mulder.  I was fighting the catlady person and deflecting her batarangs.  I was working my way backwards up steel steps like what you would find in a factory.  It was very freddy krugerish except colder than you would expect...no furnace action.  Anyway she is throwing these blade things at me and I'm knocking them away with my gun, my only real defense.  Finally I get a lock on her and fire.   This was a key moment.  I know this because everything slowed down matrix style but somehow got louder.  The beam shot out of the gun and I could feel the recoil throw me back a bit.  She slowly moved to the right allowing the beam to graze her side.  As she fell to the right she let another blade fly towards me.  Still suffering from the recoil I was trying to get the gun between me and the blade like I had before.  I could see my arm moving but knew it was not happening fast enough.  This blade was gonna hit me right in the face...right between the eyes.  As I moved the gun there were stages of where it had been...like keyframes....so if you looked at me it would look like I have 5 arms and five guns....like time lapse photography.  So this blade is spinning right at my head when a huge spark shoots off right in my face and I close my eyes.  Mudler is standing there with a smoking gun.  He had shot the blade away at the last second.  The catlady is looking at him too so I quickly turn my gun on her and blow her away.  She gets shot out one of the many high windows in the room.

So I get up and brush myself off and Mulder comes walking over.  Skully comes out of the shadows as well.  I turn to them and say, "So what happens now?"  Skully turns to me and goes, "5 minute head start."  Noe panic sets in.  I finally thought I was safe or at least had allies but it turns out they wanted the kill for themselves.  I bust through the rooms door and start hauling ass down the hallway.  I see something coming my way so I dive into a room with an open door.  I hear the Grimaces coming before I get a chance to shut the door so I just hold myself against the wall as they slime on by.  There are three of them and the middle on just keeps moving forward while the other two look into the rooms .  They look like big slimy purple blobs with that dopey Grimace like face.  They are armed with pointed stick but I figure once they have me pointed sticks will still hurt like hell. So after they pass I go to shut the door but I hear them doubling back.  I figure I have been caught.  I hold myself back to wall where I was at before.  The door is still wide open.  As they pass by again I open one eye to see when they have gone only to notice that this time that they are upside down and traveling on the ceiling.  WHATEVER...So I finally have clearance to shut the door and as I'm about to close it I see this weird fish eye looking at me.  It looks happy and angry and surprised all at the same time...like a dog about to devour a steak.  I slam the door and lock it.  I hear troops marching down the hallway.  I shut a second door, a heavier steal door that has more locks on it than the first.  Once I have the door secured I walk backwards and land on a bed.  I'm lying there trying to figure out what to do next.

The pounding on the door is getting louder.  I had seen these fish people earlier in the dream.  They were all very large with fish faces but human bodies.  The weirdest thing about them was the top of their heads were shaped like crowns...like the budweisser crown.  They would easily tear me apart.  As it turns out they were easily tearing apart the door.  I thud was so loud I sat up in the bed.  I dent had formed on the steal door.  I looked around and realized I was in a windowless room.  The banging got louder and then it went away.  They were still knocking on the door but I could no longer hear it.  I sat there exhausted....with no place to go....about to get demolished by these fish people...I kept thinking..."I won't let it happen like this.....I won't give them the satisfaction."  I took my gun out of my pocket and put it up to my head.  "They will all be sorry.  None of them will get the prize.  I will steal it away from them."  I began to pull the trigger.  "Bastards."  BAM

But it wasn't the gun...it was white lights..like stage lights...my eyes were out of focus but after rubbing them I could see that I was in some sort of room...it was a party....and all the people that were hunting me were there.  It felt like we in a green room for a show or something....I went over and picked up a styrofoam coffee cup with one of those paper handles and poured myself some coffee...looked around the room one last time and took a sip. AWAKE...late for work

Quick Dream

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

This was just the end of my Tequila-induced dreaming from last night.  I apologize for it's shortness but it's all I got.  I actually laughed toothpaste onto the mirror this morning because I remembered it all of the sudden.

So I'm in the dream and I'm driving down a nice country road.  It's a sunny day and I've got the top down screamin' out.   I'm drving and driving and then I realize I'm heading into a new town.  Now I just want to clarify that I must have been thinking Back to the Future because I come up to a welcome sign that says...

Welcome to Hilltown!

"Home of the most customized racing cars and red light racing challenges." 

The sign has all the little emblems around it like the Lions club and such.  Although I find the slogan a little off, I continue into the town.  It is just filled to the brim with (for a lack of a less racial term) Jap'd out hondas.  But I figure I'm just rolling through town.  I will be out of Fast and the Furiousville soon.  That is until I reach a red light.  A minivan full of ghetto-acting white kids are piled into it.  I figure we are in Hilltown so I look over at the driver and acknowledge the race...which I know I will win.  Well this sets off all the kids and they start yelling about me and how my car is not pimped out.  Luckily I was able to respond with, "Sure is nice that your mom let you borrow HER wheels so you and your butt buddies could stand at the mall and get all emo with each other.  Oh and being as I was just dropped her off, she wanted me to tell you that you need to wash your piss-filled sheets before bible study tonight."  Then I pointed at the light and yelled, "Wrench it!"  (I don't know either.)  Light turns green and for some reason I pull the Marty McFly reverse manuver.  I spin my car around and look down the road at the speeding minivan.  Then I say, "Jesus, I would have hit that Rolls-Royce!"  But no Rolls-Royce showed up.  The minivan sped off and in the distance you could hear one of the punks yell, "Pussssssssssyyyyy!"

I  turned back around and sat with my hands on the wheel and said with an open mouth, "huh".

 

*pop*

I woke up.