Agnew's Mind He's got a long journey ahead of him.

Vol. III of VIII – Yankee Stadium

    by Jon Hassinger

Before I get into this I want to say a few things about The Evil Empire.

The Yankees are a team and an organization I could argue for AND against.

I HATE THEM. But because of their history, tradition, and pure dominance of the sport of baseball, it is hard to hate them for any other reason than pure jealousy.

Maybe if Philadelphia was the number 1 market in the country, the Phillies could claim they had players like Ruth, Gerhrig, Mantle, Jeter, Berra, Marris, Pettite, and Rivera.

Maybe if Philadelphia was ‘the city’, we’d have 27 World Championships, and almost every number from 1-10, retired, or soon to be. Not to mention, two number 8’s.

Maybe if Philadelphia didn’t lead the majors in losses all-time, we’d be synonymous with ‘pin-stripes’.

They are who they are: The New York Yankees. They are more than the Lakers, Celtics, Red Wings, Cowboys, Steelers, Notre Dame, and Duke, could ever imagine. HATED as equally as they are LOVED. They inspire passion from sports fans, world-wide, like no other. And as a Philadelphian, I will always root against them.

But my experience at the original Yankee Stadium was somewhat of a baseball fan’s dream sequence. Walking down the halls that Babe Ruth once walked down, seeing the field that Joe DiMaggio played on, and sitting in a stadium that literally felt like there were no bad seats, was magic.

Again, I can’t tell you much about the actual game that day, but parking in some random off-site parking lot in the twisted Geometric mess that is the Bronx, and walking to baseball’s Lambeau Field on a Saturday afternoon with my Pops, was really something special. We didn’t even sit in our ‘assigned’ seats. We found 2 lone chairs, probably from the original, original Yankee Stadium that was left behind after they re-did the seating, back in like the 70’s.

That is all. And for the next century I wish the Yankees nothing but losing seasons.

Vol. II of VIII – Gay Stadium

    by Jon Hassinger

So my Dad and I love baseball. We don’t just love watching, but talking, dissecting, analyzing, and remembering.

He’ll tell me stories of pitchers using thumb-tacs and sand-paper on the inside of their glove, or Vaseline on their necks and hat bill to throw trickier pitches. Also, how batters would load their bats with corks and bouncy balls, to launch homers.

Nothing gets me more excited than his memories of the Phillies’ first World Series back in 1980, and how he was actually there, for game 1, with tears in his eyes.

So we randomly went to Yankee stadium back in the late 90’s, and it was an experience I will never forget. I’ll get to that Vol. III of VIII. So to keep that tradition alive, I decided to take him back to New York for Father’s Day a few years ago, but this time, Flushing, not the Bronx.

Shea Stadium made more famous by The Beatles and Billie Joel, than their baseball team, is without a doubt the most overrated baseball building I have ever visited. Honestly, I think the only reason that place has any fame, is because of the Beatles concert that took place there over 50 years ago.

This place is so fan un-friendly, it’s worse than the Vet. For starters, there are NO SEATS IN THE OUTFIELD. So, the total number of home-run balls caught by a fan at Shea, have to be the lowest in MLB history.

The stadium seats are so steep you have to lean back in your chair, in order to not have the feeling of falling forward the entire game. And the chairs…..the seats Jeff and I sat in, 9 year old Sally Draper and father Don most likely sat in the exact same seats, during that famous Beatles concert. My back still hurts.

And the fans…. They think they are equal to Phillies, Red Sox and even Yankee fans. They think the baseball world respects them, just because they are in New York. The Mets, at best, are a glorified Minor League experience, with major league delusions of grandeur. And their stadium reflects that perfectly.

While my Dad and I paid very little attention to the game between the Reds and Mets that night, we did what we do best, and that is talk baseball, and boo whenever the Mets got a hit. Overall the experience was great, but the Stadium had nothing to do with it.

Jon’s Past-Time

    by Jon Hassinger

I have been to 8 different major league ball-parks throughout my life-time. And over the next 8 weeks, I hope to give you my take, on each.

Vol I of VIII: The Vet.

Without a doubt the worst stadium for opposing teams to visit.

The outrageous fans, the Brillo pad / cement-like Astor-turf, and not to mention the dog-sized rats that occupied the locker rooms.

Veterans Stadium, is synonymous with the over-sized sports complexes of the 70's and 80's. It's ugly seats and generic "tin-can" structure took the ambiance of the old school ball-park, and dumped it into the Schuylkill River like a dead hooker.

However, some of my fondest memories from my first 13 or so years of life, including my first memory ever, were at The Vet.

My undefeated Pee Wee baseball team went to a game together. We met the Phillies on the field, and were even welcomed by the team, on the score board!

I was first introduced to baseballs biggest losers, Mets fans, at The Vet.

I saw plenty of the '93 Phillies games.

I WAS AT one of The Legendary Snow Bowls, and participated in throwing snow-balls at Jimmy Johnson.

And I will never forget my first Phillies' game, in 1984, with my Dad.
Mike Schmidt hit a walk-off homer.

I loved The Vet, but was happy to see it turned into a heaping pile of cement memorabilia, to make room for The Linc and what will be Part VIII of Jon's Past-Time, The Bank.

Up next, the biggest waste of seats, grass, dirt, bases, a giant apple, peanuts and crackers jacks - Shea Stadium.

Come back next week for Jon's Past-Time - Vol II of VIII: Gay Stadium.

You’re all alone, and….

    by Jon Hassinger

....it's your last day on Earth. What would you do?

I know on the surface, this is quite the dark question. But the idea is to get a glimpse into what really makes someone happy...

I'll bet most people will say a variety of generic things:
Spend time with family, go to church, do heroin, travel to some exotic place, etc.

And yes, I did say "do heroin". Ask 10 random people on the street this question, and I bet 40% of them say 'do heroin...or participate in some form of drug binge'. The masses are asses, what can I say?

Anyway...

Over a week ago, while sneaking in a few Miller Lites, before heading out to the bar for the Phillies/Padres game, I sat on my couch waiting for Renee to finish getting ready. The game was nationally televised, so there was really no need to even go out, but ya know, sometimes it's more fun with a crowd.

As I sipped a couple beers and enjoyed the first couple innings of the game, I noticed something as I searched the Guide between innings to help tame my ADD: Rocky I was on AMC.

"Wow" i thought.

On a side note. I change my answer every time anyone asks me what my favorite Rocky is, between 1, 2 and 4. I'll never be able to make that decision with 100% certainty.

I am sitting on the couch with an ice-cold beer, and flipping back and forth between Rocky I and the Phillies game. Could the day get any better, realistically?

Well of course it could.

But if that was my last day on Earth, for me, it would be a pretty great start. My couch, Phils, beer, Rocky I....c'mon!

So what is your perfect Last Day On Earth?

And be totally selfish. Think of it like L O S T, and after your last day on Earth you get to spend eternity with everyone you love....once you learn to let go of your baggage, of course.

Give it time. This isn't an easy answer. Because even as I type, I have added and subtracted movies and TV shows I want to watch, albums I want playing, and even food I want to eat.

You have 24 hours to live, and you're alone. What will you do?

Jon’s World Cups

    by Jon Hassinger

As long as I can remember, this was the standard size cup I required for nice glass of water. Perhaps a refill or two, but nothing more, nothing less.

Then I traded glass for plastic, due to the safety factor.

This and the next 2 cups were taken from the Koons' residence, after blurry Sunday-Funday exits.

And this is from Renee's short stint at a West Virginia University Sorority.

But now, I have found my true love:

Safe-Time Continuum

    by Jon Hassinger

Growing up in the Hassinger House, being late wasn't always your safest bet.

Breaking curfew, or not meeting back up with Mom in the Montgomeryville Mall, at the EXACT time we agreed upon two hours earlier, meant a huge guilt-trip along with a slight punishment.

Also, after several accidents and speeding tickets throughout my teen years, I have become a very safe and cautious driver.

I was 20 minutes early, on my drive into work, enjoying the local AM Sports Talk Station, 790 The Ticket, and a cup of High Test. I then saw cars in the lane to my left, on I-95, all begin to slam their breaks. I heard tires skidding from behind me. I immediately slowed to a crawl, and braced for impact.

A tiny 2002 Honda Civic, driven by a Jon H, from Pittsburgh, PA, merely months older than I, smashed into my life.

Two rental cars and Renee's Pathfinder later, it's still in the shop, exactly 2 weeks ago, today. Luckily, it wasn't my fault.

Let this be a lesson to all you teenagers out there:

"Being on-time, doesn't always mean you're safe."

UP NEXT:

Renee's take on the Buddy-Porch Incident...

Valore.

    by Jon Hassinger

Every once in a while, I'll pick up the mail for work...

I don't really mind, since it gives me time, to walk outside, and enjoy the beautiful weather.

The pretty palm trees. The clear blue sky..

Sometimes I'll just stand still, and breathe in the fresh air.

I mean c'mon, nothing like a nice stroll outside to get the blood flowing, before a long day's work.

Ahhhh... It's good to be alive.

It’s easy being Green.

    by Jon Hassinger

In these times, when everyone is doing their "best" to save the world, last Sunday, Renee and I decided to give these "Green Bags" a test.

The idea that a specific environmentally safe plastic-type bag, is not only safer for the planet, but keeps produce fresher, longer.

So we used grapes and strawberries, which as you know can have a short shelf-life.

Obviously you do the same prep-work you would do for all your fruit.

Clean and dry.

Don't these grapes look so damn good? Like in Ancient Egypt.

And then they are stored.

I must admit I had my doubts. But I was able to have 5-8 strawberries everyday at work for a mid-day snack, with no sings of mushiness. Renee actually finished off the last of them today, by the pool.

The grapes have barely been touched, only for a tiny bit I enjoyed last Wednesday, and the rest of the bunch, in perfect form.

Consensus: Worth it. Plus they are reusable.