Agnew's Mind He's got a long journey ahead of him.

El Apartamento

    by Mike Agnew Jr.

With Bill leaving the greatest bachlor pad known to man due to this wedding business, I have turned on my animal insticts and have started to prepare for the hunt.  I followed the normal route: start from the bottom and work your way up.  In other words craigslist back to a legitimate website.  As with all hunting you must get to know the beast you are tracking.  I am limited by the second income but will not take up much ground on my own so I don't need to land a very large kill.

A good deal is easy to find but I found something so humorous in the reviews of the local apartments I had to share them.  Some of them were so back and forth...completely polar opposite reviews....and some were just funny responses.

Garner House

"Its not every day that you find a peaceful quiet place to live in apartment living. Garner House definitely lives up to this and is well maintained."

"New mgmt took over year ago. Since then we have had a murder here in the bldg. Police are here at least two times a month for fights and drinking. Drug needles found in parking lot."

"Thanks for giving my mom the best of everything, safety, cleanliness and friendships!"

Studio apartments for $775/mo.

Robert Bruce West Apartments

"With drug sales going on in the hallways, husbands beating wives, and property damage happening weekly, I could not escape quick enough from RBW. The first few years were OK, but then a change in management and tenants and the place became very unsafe. Having known pyromaniacs starting fires or setting off fire alarms a few times a week, or drug sales being done in the hallways and the people running up and down the steps at all hours of the night - you would think management would want to respond - no they did not."

Studio apartments for $1,969/mo.

Apartments at Rosewood

"Gang activities everyday. Noise, prostitutes... No parking, no lights, smell on urine in the hallways. Old garbage disposal dumpsters with broken doors..."

"I'm reading some of the reviews online and I wonder about them. I live here now and I love it. Eileen has been incredible and my neighbors are awesome!"

"Later I heard that she wanted to get rid of all of the "white trash" that lived there, and that the complex was turning into section-8 infestation. She is completely unprofessional and needs to be removed from the property. By the way, nothing that goes on in the home that does not cause a problem IS NOT ANY OF HER BUSINESS, BUT SHE WILL MAKE IT HERS. Don't rent here if you value your privacy!!!!!!"

"Where should I start..Let's see Eileen the lanlord was some kind of monster (THE MOVIE) and had no life outside of "ROSEWOOD" one would say. After 3 months of being there she started banning my friends and started to tell me how I should live my life. Yes, it was cheap to live there if you wanted to live like a caged animal."

Studio apartments for $1,034/mo.

And my personal favorite...

The Livingstone Apartments

"overpriced, gross, awful staff support, mean landlords, put together extremely poor. bad paint, laundry facilities, unsafe basements, no locks on basement doors leading outside, broken heaters, an inch of space underneath apt doors, letting out heat, mold issues like crazy."

"this place is nasty a@$ dirty.The maintenance man "sammy" is an ugly flirting no nothing piece of you know what."Tom the manager knows nothing about good bussiness which is probally why he was kicked off the condo association board.The apartments smell like crap and attract the kind of people who smell the same.Also extreamly overpriced."

Studio apartments for $1,235/mo.

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