Agnew's Mind He's got a long journey ahead of him.

JUST TOO SWEET….

    by Jon Hassinger

After going from Sugar, to Splenda, back to Sugar, I've landed safely with Honey, as my coffee's sweetener.

My future mother-in-law, Debbie Sterling, brought the idea to me about 2 years ago, and I've been hooked ever since.

If you haven't tried it yet, I suggest you do.

We all know by now, I have purchased a new car. A 2003 Lexus ES 300, silver, with gray interior. I love it. I drive in it everyday, and still feel like it isn't mine, and I'm just cruising around in a rental or something.

It is my 5th car.

With my previous 4 cars, I have taken care of them to an extent. I changed the oil religiously, always filled the tank when I got gas, and kept it reasonably clean...

But if I spilled something or burnt a part of it, I didn't really care. Clothes, shoes, water bottles, trash, etc. were rarely not found in any of them. At the very most, of all my previous 4 cars, $3,000 was the most I paid for any of them.

But with the Lexus, I am in a whole different world. I treat this car like the perfect automobile that it is...

I take my flip flops off and put them upside down, on the floor mats upon entering. All passengers must follow suit. I leave nothing in it. No paper work, no cups, to trash, nothing!

Well, except for one time...

A couple of weeks ago, when Renee dropped me off at the airport, I left my coffee mug on the floor, behind the passenger seat.

I couldn't bring it on the plane, and they don't fit in the cup holders. And since my father trained me like a Nazi Soldier to be insanely on-time for flights, where my coffee mug could go, wasn't a top priority of mine, at that moment.

I was focusing on getting out of the car, grabbing my bag, kissing Renee goodbye (a good, long, passionate goodbye kiss), then getting to my terminal.

While in the airport I like to have my own little comedy show in my head. I notice that it is full of people you THINK you recognize, long lines of fat people at Burger King, and things I just can't explain...

I thought a Mojito was an alcoholic drink made with Rum and Mint. How do you incorporate that into a sandwich?

Gross.

I also realized that instead of drinking or taking pills to get through the stress of a plane ride, I can just load up on sugar before the flight. Then crash.  Not literally.

Then a week later, Renee picked me back up from the airport, with my car. I went to throw my suitcase in the back seat when I noticed something....

Coffee spill?? I thought the mug was completely empty, when I carefully, yet distractedly placed it back there....

Then I examined it...

NO....

That isn't coffee.

IT'S HONEY!!!

Oh, I am such a Bozo!

Since getting into putting honey in my coffee, my sweet-tooth tolerance has taken a bit of a climb. So, to be sure I don't leave the house with a bland cup of Joe, I usually dump in the honey.

In this case, it must not have dissolved enough, into the coffee, and a layer of honey remained at the base of the mug. It then tipped over on Renee's drive back from dropping me off, and the hot-Florida-summer-sun cooked that stuff into the fibers of my nice new car's floor mats!

I pray I don't wake up one morning to this....