Agnew's Mind He's got a long journey ahead of him.

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    by Jon Hassinger

Since this website sees less action than I did during my "Drought of '05", I am going to post a weekly, if not daily update on the television shows I watch....or anything I see on a television...

Since it's summer time, and all the really good shows are in re-run or just replaced by absolute garbage, I don't have much to work with. But with the magic of DVR, I am able to spread Monday's onslaught of decent television all the way through Wednesday.

I then drink the rest of the week and watch the cooking channel. GOOD EATS with Alton Brown weeknights from 11pm-midnight, is a favorite. I also have some weird crush/affection for Rachel Ray.
Before I begin I must preface that each night is capped off with The Tonight Show, ever since Conan took over from that HACK-THEIF, Jay Leno. As a supporter and watcher of Conan from the beginning, I feel obligated to support him, in his new role as the future of Late Night television. So far, we have laughed our asses off.

So Monday, Renee and I sit down to Jon and Kate Plus 8, for our first hour. And unless you've been living under a rock, we all know that show is now on hiatus, because Jon and Kate are divorced. Wow. Would families stop getting reality shows. Jack and Kelly Osbourne both almost died while gaining fame from a reality show. Linda Hogan is taking the Hulkster's money, and running away from her kids. And now this: 8 siblings have to go to 2 Christmases.

The sad thing is, I loved Jon and Kate plus 8, before all the drama. Usually it's the other way around. Now it's just sad. Before it was cool and inspiring to see these two normal people raise 8 kids at the same time. Yes we all hated Kate for her controlling ways, and rooted for shy Jon, to stand up to her, but those kids were so damn cute, it was addicting. And now, they are going to HATE their parents for stealing their privacy away for the rest of their lives, and for making them attend 2 of all the catholic holidays.

Following Jon and Kate minus marriage (had to), we move on to the horrible, yet compelling "Here Come The Newlyweds". This sloppily produced reality/competition show sets up 8 couples, in a game of ‘who knows who’ and ‘who works together’, best. Each week, the couple who wins the lame challenge, has the opportunity to take a small percentage of the Grand Prize money, or immunity. And they always pick immunity.

Usually they keep this very politically correct: Asian, Black, White, White Trash, European, and a couple of minority religion. In this season's case, Mormon.
Last season the black couple won. This season, the Mormons seem to have it locked.
The only thing I really gain from this show, is that marriage is a love/hate relationship that you are too lazy to get out of, you accept that, and make the best of it.

That ends Monday evening's line up.

Tuesday, sad to say is dedicated to the Bachelorette. For years a have bashed my radio hero, Howard Stern, for not only watching the show, but for re-capping it on HIS SHOW. But then I met a girl, and sacrifices were made. After putting her through an entire NBA playoffs in which she actually watched and participated in various debates and predictions, I commit to this absolute joke of reality television.

No real human being is going to decide who they want to marry from a group of the opposite sex, within 3 months. Not only are you learning very little of how this person will behave and conduct themselves in reality, but you are also spending time with a whole bunch of other douche bags, that in a real life situation, you would have NEVER wasted any time on.
This week's episode set-up one of the dudes (From Philly, who I am secretly rooting for) and Jillian, on top of this snow covered mountain, with a dining room completely made of ice. Not ice like rapper's ice, but actual frozen water. Ice table, chairs, bench, vases, etc. I think that is a good depiction of what your future would be like with the Snow Miser, but not Joe Schmo from Philly.

Next week she visits the final four guy's hometown/families. This excites me because Joe Schmo from Philly is one of the final four. Pat's? Phillies game? LOVE Park? Rocky statue? I am pumped, either way.

Finally, we save Wednesday for the best television of the week, of course, from Showtime.

Weeds. One of the best concepts ever conceived in my opinion. A single mother opts to sell pot, over going out and working for the government. That is all you need. With the drama that escalates from drug dealing, the possibilities are endless. Or so I thought...

Sadly, after a horrible Season 4, it seems like the show is beginning to run out of ideas. I mean now Nancy is pregnant by the Mayor of Mexico/Next Pablo Escobar. Sylas (her oldest son) and Doug (Kevin Nealon, who saves every episode) are opening a Medical Marijuana facility, with a crooked cop, who is screwing them out a large profit percentage. Nancy's personal body guard has just been murdered. And Andy (another one of the show's saviors) and Nancy's sister, are in some weird affair/jealousy driven relationship. Which at the heart of this show, is the only thing keeping me coming back.
Andy and Nancy.

Andy is Nancy's brother-in-law. Brother to her recently deceased husband(Judah), who died days before the show's pilot episode. He is the sole reason Nancy decided to sell pot in the first place. But the growing relationship between Andy and Nancy has been teased for a couple seasons now, and almost came to a head last season, but was interrupted by the pregNancy.

First episode of this season:

Andy - "I love you."
Nancy - "No you don't. I'm pregnant."

At the end of the day, I still prefer Weeds over any of the aforementioned reality crap, above.

I've saved the best for last. Renee and I wrap up our weekday television show watching, with Showtime's new series, staring Edie Falco (Carmela from Soprano's), “Nurse Jackie”.

She is Gregory House, on Showtime. Drug addiction that causes her to cheat on her husband daily, because the supplier is a Nurse in the hospital in which she works whom doesn't even know she is married.

She puts her wedding band in her pocket every morning before entering the hospital, then puts it back on, as soon as she heads home to her husband and two daughters.
Her character alone, is enough for me, but the supporting cast which consists of a gay Arab nurse, an over sensitive/happy/naive new intern, a snobby/heartless head Doctor and a young air-head genius, head surgeon, who has a turrets-like disorder which causes him to involuntarily grab woman's body parts when nervous. "Is this really happening?" yelled Jackie after the first 'grab' was made in the show's pilot episode.

The show is everything you want in a new series: Slow, but succinct character development. Excellent acting. Tons of set-ups, and NO COMMERCIALS! Remember, it's Showtime.

I am anxiously awaiting the returns of many network shows, but for now, these will hold me over.

Now, in the middle of me writing this article, Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett passed away. I do not really even know how to get into this. So for now, I will just say RIP.